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About this Writer That I Be "Thou therefore endure hardness, as a good soldier of Jesus Christ. No man that warreth entangleth himself with the affairs of this life; that he may please him who hath chosen him to be a soldier." 2nd Timothy 2:3-4
Who am I? Don't you see? I am a Last Day Remnant Refugee
I am a Remnant Veteran Soldier behind enemy lines I am a spiritual fox-hole grunt who still survives
I've been a spiritual P.O.W. and a spiritual M.I.A. Yet I still carry onward by God's help and grace
Hell shock I've suffered Numbed and Nullified Because of Inertia and Dementia I have nearly died
Emotional landmines have crippled my soul As spiritual snipers still gossip the lies and slander grow
Incoming explosions of persecution have mentally maimed Such well planned attacks were sent to drive me insane
Fiery trials like napalm have came and fell There's no Radical Evangelist here because true spiritual war is hell
I've hidden deep in the bunkers of my heart and mind In my spiritual foxhole alone I've even prayed to die
Flash backs like ghost have haunted my soul I've had my share of hopeless despair and turmoil I've known
Such memories of true spiritual war though past survived Have inspired mass depressions which I've had to fight
Thus memories of past victories are so hard to tell Because of failures and defeats and the times I've failed
Yet my battle scars no one can see Because my heart and soul no longer bleed
I am a Last Day Remnant Refugee I am an Old Path Soldier of the Cross That I Be © 2001 Raymond Bolton Pena
“Therefore seeing we have this ministry, as we have received mercy, we faint not; But have renounced the hidden things of dishonesty, not walking in craftiness, nor handling the word of God deceitfully; but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God. But if our gospel be hid, it is hid to them that are lost: In whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them. For we preach not ourselves, but Christ Jesus the Lord; and ourselves your servants for Jesus' sake. For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us. We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed; Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body. For we which live are alway delivered unto death for Jesus' sake, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our mortal flesh. So then death worketh in us, but life in you. We having the same spirit of faith, according as it is written, I believed, and therefore have I spoken; we also believe, and therefore speak; Knowing that he which raised up the Lord Jesus shall raise up us also by Jesus, and shall present us with you. For all things are for your sakes, that the abundant grace might through the thanksgiving of many redound to the glory of God. For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.” 2nd Corinthians 4:1-18
“Troubled on every side, perplexed, persecuted, and cast down.” I can certainly relate, but I wish that I could say that I have not been “distressed or in despair or have not felt forsaken and nigh to be destroyed.” And I only wish I had half the faith of the Apostle Paul. I am writing this honest confession because I want to be as real and transparent with you as I possibly can. Some might even mistake it for modesty? But I know my own short comings far more acutely than they could ever imagine.
And yet, though I have been distressed, in despair and have felt forsaken. I have also known the keeping power of God to deliver me out of all of my afflictions. And I know that there are a lot of Remnant Christians out there who are suffering the same. And you can sometimes feel like you're living in the “Twilight Zone” of some never ending nightmare. Because the more wicked this world becomes, the more it can very well take on the characteristics of a global insane asylum or even a Hell of sin. And it's so easy to become battle weary and lose one's own pilgrim perspective while passing through this present darkness. I just want you to know that though it might look hopeless, hang in there and believe me when I tell you that God is only a prayer away.
And I especially feel like there are some who are going to read this writing? I know for certain there is at least one, perhaps more? And I don’t know who you are, but I do know that you are being tormented by gross vexations in your heart, mind and soul. And you have lost your way and can’t even pray without battling bitter and resenting thoughts against God that are so tormenting you even fear to pray. And very few Christians would ever begin to comprehend the mind bending attack you are facing. And I must tell you that the circumstance which emotionally binds you and has resulted in this open door for the enemy is not a test from God, but it was and is a cleverly devised scheme and lie of Satan. Because what you thought was a blessing from God is actually a curse from Satan and you can only be free by acknowledging the truth and repenting. That treacherously wicked person you have fallen in love with, that unequally yoked relationship, that compromise with the world which you have convinced yourself is God’s will. It must be brought to the Cross and turned away from. For they savor the carnal things that be of men and not the spiritual things that be of God. And your spirit has been breached through your compromise with that hypocrite worldling child of a (Counterfeit and false Christ) strange god.
Though your Sins be as Scarlet
“Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.” Isaiah 1:18
In dark despair no more to roam There is mercy and hope for Jesus’ blood hath atoned
Pleading the Spirit beckons calling unto thee Leading ever onward, God’s glorious light to see
Do not withdraw O soul in need Do not give heed to the demon’s seed
In faith plead the blood, and then take up thy cross Cling tightly to Christ Jesus, no more to be lost
For His love for thee everlasting endures His grace is free and forgiveness is yours. © 1995 Raymond Bolton Pena
I realize that some might very well fault me for diverging from the topic and subject matter of this article in order to give this preceding Word of knowledge. Yet in no way am I attempting to feign some spiritually simulated exercise in the gifts of the Spirit to try at making some type of impression with my readers. I had to obey the anointing and I sincerely believe that whom ever this Word is for. It had to be placed exactly where it is, because that person who is going to read it would some how never see it if I didn’t obey God and place it here in its exact place. And I know this because I sense so strongly that this individual whom this Word is for, has reached a critical point and as the enemy is coming in like a flood, God has just raised up a standard against him. And I really believe that in time, this individual is going to contact me and confirm to me that it was indeed God who gave this Word for them.
Now back to the article at hand: If I might borrow a personal testimony from the Apostle Paul and just admit my own personal disposition, I would have to ask: “Who is weak, and I am not weak? who is offended, and I burn not? If I must needs glory, I will glory of the things which concern mine infirmities. The God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, which is blessed for evermore, knoweth that I lie not.” 2nd Corinthians 11:29-31
I would hope that my personal honesty and confessions of going through this season of discouragement and spiritual weakness will not be misunderstood by anyone. Some people might take offense because the truth comes a little too close to home for them. Yet God desires truth from the inner most parts of our being. But more often than not, too many Christians think that if they were really honest with themselves, it would somehow mean that they were expressing negative doubts and that they were not walking in true faith. Yet in reality we are only denying the truth and are walking in a false faith when we put up a front and pretend that all is well when in fact all is not well with our souls. But if understood in the context of the following poem: “My Times are in His Hands” we sometimes face seasons of sore trials in the desert which are really meant to drive us closer to the Cross in deeper repentance and greater dependence upon God in true faith. For I would contend that having true faith is when we are able to face the trials and tribulations of this Christian life, which are sometimes very painful and hard. And yet in spite of our weaknesses in growing weary, we determine to stand and carry on, waiting on God until He strengthens us according to His Word. The Psalmist understood this need for honest transparency and true humility when he wrote:
“I have declared my ways, and thou heardest me: teach me thy statutes. Make me to understand the way of thy precepts: so shall I talk of thy wondrous works. My soul melteth for heaviness: strengthen thou me according unto thy word. Remove from me the way of lying: and grant me thy law graciously. I have chosen the way of truth: thy judgments have I laid before me. I have stuck unto thy testimonies: O LORD, put me not to shame. I will run the way of thy commandments, when thou shalt enlarge my heart. Teach me, O LORD, the way of thy statutes; and I shall keep it unto the end. Give me understanding, and I shall keep thy law; yea, I shall observe it with my whole heart. Make me to go in the path of thy commandments; for therein do I delight. Incline my heart unto thy testimonies, and not to covetousness. Turn away mine eyes from beholding vanity; and quicken thou me in thy way. Stablish thy word unto thy servant, who is devoted to thy fear. Turn away my reproach which I fear: for thy judgments are good. Behold, I have longed after thy precepts: quicken me in thy righteousness. Let thy mercies come also unto me, O LORD, even thy salvation, according to thy word. So shall I have wherewith to answer him that reproacheth me: for I trust in thy word. And take not the word of truth utterly out of my mouth; for I have hoped in thy judgments. So shall I keep thy law continually for ever and ever. And I will walk at liberty: for I seek thy precepts. I will speak of thy testimonies also before kings, and will not be ashamed. And I will delight myself in thy commandments, which I have loved. My hands also will I lift up unto thy commandments, which I have loved; and I will meditate in thy statutes. Remember the word unto thy servant, upon which thou hast caused me to hope. This is my comfort in my affliction: for thy word hath quickened me.” Psalms 119:26-50
My Times are in His Hands
Here I go again O Lord Things never seem to change As the rain beats on this open road Once again life's rearranged
Going to and fro and here and there Like an outcast in the land And O God I know that it's by your grace Which I've come this far and stand
You know I've been forsaken and abandoned You know I've been misunderstood I've known slander and betrayal And I've been misjudged as just no good
My wounded heart has been so broken From all the bitter pain I've known Fears has been no stranger nor has despair When I've felt so all alone
Yet I would have never figured That every set back has come from you Though I've known when in the valleys It's always you who sees me through
There have been delays and disappointments Fiery trials not a few And now here I am again O Lord not knowing just what to do
Yet my times are in Thy hands O God And you have never changed And you know what's best for me O Lord Even when your ways seem very strange
My times are in Thy hands O Lord And Thy will has not been mine Thus perhaps I have been brought so low Because I have not been crucified?
For if I've not been crucified Then how can I live in Thee? And if I refuse to die unto myself Then how can You live in me?
My times are in Thy hands And now I finally understand I've had no home in this old world Every since I began to be born again
My times are in Thy hands And I'm so numb I have waxed cold Weak and weary I cry to Thee Lead me back unto Thy fold
My times are in Thy hands Bruised and bitter I plead Thy blood Lift up Thy standard by Thy Spirit Against the oppressor's flood
My times are in Thy hands And how I miss you so My Abba Father please forgive Thy child And please wash me white as snow
My times are in Thy hands And I no longer know how to live So please show me how to die unto myself For the rest of my life to Thee to give. Amen. © 2007 Raymond Bolton Pena
Sudden Destruction this way Comes
Speaking of “times,” it is written: “But of the times and the seasons, brethren, ye have no need that I write unto you. For yourselves know perfectly that the day of the Lord so cometh as a thief in the night. For when they shall say, Peace and safety; then sudden destruction cometh upon them, as travail upon a woman with child; and they shall not escape. But ye, brethren, are not in darkness, that that day should overtake you as a thief. Ye are all the children of light, and the children of the day: we are not of the night, nor of darkness. Therefore let us not sleep, as do others; but let us watch and be sober. For they that sleep sleep in the night; and they that be drunken are drunken in the night. But let us, who are of the day, be sober, putting on the breastplate of faith and love; and for an helmet, the hope of salvation. For God hath not appointed us to wrath, but to obtain salvation by our Lord Jesus Christ, Who died for us, that, whether we wake or sleep, we should live together with him. Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do. And we beseech you, brethren, to know them which labour among you, and are over you in the Lord, and admonish you; And to esteem them very highly in love for their work's sake. And be at peace among yourselves. Now we exhort you, brethren, warn them that are unruly, comfort the feebleminded, support the weak, be patient toward all men. See that none render evil for evil unto any man; but ever follow that which is good, both among yourselves, and to all men. Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. Quench not the Spirit. Despise not prophesyings. Prove all things; hold fast that which is good. Abstain from all appearance of evil. And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. Faithful is he that calleth you, who also will do it. Brethren, pray for us. Greet all the brethren with an holy kiss. I charge you by the Lord that this epistle be read unto all the holy brethren. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you. Amen.” 1st Thessalonians 5:1-28
There are some very difficult times approaching America. Sudden destruction this way comes as the cry of “Peace and Safety” is seen on every hand. For Peace symbols abound and the words: “NO FEAR” are displayed on everything from T-Shirts to Bumper Stickers. Many who now enjoy financial freedom and personal prosperity are going to suffer the most. Days of great catastrophe, economic depression and famine are coming to this nation. Things are going to get worse and not better; thus, knowing how to spiritually survive the coming tribulations is the key to being able to physically stand for Jesus in the coming days of darkness. In that we must learn to live by our faith.
And if I might share my own experience, the most difficult part of living by faith is not just enduring the hardships themselves. But it is dealing with the constant worries and faithlessness of others who can put you under a tremendous amount of pressure, stress and strain. Even as they panic, complain, grip and become unglued because they are unable to cope with the unknown prospects which the future holds for them. And there are just as many others who are so dependant upon the world's comforts, indulgences and luxuries which they have known, that when such vanities are taken away, they will simply go mad and try to take you with them.
Therefore, we must pray for wisdom and stand upon the promises of God's Word in order to understand how to cope with and navigate through all the emotional turmoil and mental anxiety from others which seeks to overwhelm us as we pass through these perilous times. For our times are in His hands and as we embrace the Cross that is ours to carry. We shall grow stronger by that unseen grace which makes His strength perfect in our weakness. For only then can we say in true worship that it is indeed well with our souls in the midst of the fiery trials that rage all around us. And though this kind of doctrine is not the popular teaching in today's modern self sufficient Christianity with all its pomp, pride and radical heroism; It is indeed that narrow way of denying ourselves and dying unto our own lives, so that Jesus Christ might have His rightful place in our hearts to transform us into vessels of honor to the glory of God the Father.
That I See
So who am I? It’s so plain to see Without the blood of Jesus I’m nobody
Saved by grace and not by works Blessed by God’s love and no longer cursed
So there really isn’t much to say Unless you need some résumé
In which such case I can only give The articles and poems contained herein
And if that simply will not do I’d like to ask just who are you?
And what do you call reality? When I have to close my eyes just so I can see
For if your arrogant life is what you call the norm I have to beg your pardon I’m being twice born
And if you dare think that you are sane Your meaningless cares of life I find real vain
Thus what have you left to judge me by? When you’re so foolish and carnal in your pompous pride?
Therefore all I can say is please pardon me For just being so honest about what I see! © 2008 Raymond Bolton Pena
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